A Very Very Very Dark Day

This is a very sad day for me and has been since Friday.  Batman, the cat has been missing since Friday morning.  I think that something attacked him.  We haven't been able to find him.  He was my second "child".  He was 9 and a half years old.  My baby.  I miss him like crazy.  He's the best cat in the world!!!

Training

Well...I'm at it again.  I have another goal.  Well more like two goals.  I know.  I know.  I seem to like my goals.  The last few I have actually been able to finish and I SO SO SO love the feeling of completing a goal.  So now I will get down to it. 

My two goals: 

1.  Run a 5k at the end of November.  (Hot Buttered Run) 

• Yes I am doing it for the Rum at the of the run.

2.  Run/Walk 150 miles by New Years Eve. 

• This one will be harder as I haven't done too many miles yet but I do great when it comes to pressure.   I definitely think that I do it too myself leaving things until the end and then work my butt off to complete the goal.  Maybe one day I might learn and spread my goal out over the actual length of time but until then I will just keep on moving forward.

 Well we will see how it goes.  I will let you know how the 5k goes. 

Words are meaningless

Words are meaningless unless you have the actions to back it up.  I have felt like a failure for a very long time.  I’ve also felt like I was a hypocrite pretty much for the last few years.  Words I’m finding are hard to find the truth in.  They don’t really mean anything until you put them into action.  “Live your dreams.”  “Live your faith.”  How do you do that though?  It’s easy to think about and SAY but to truly live it takes your breath away sometimes.  It makes your heart and mind struggle against each other to find the correct way to do it.  It takes a lot out of you to find the best way possible to make it happen.  With all things you do though you have to find a starting out point.  You should start out small, not jumping in right away fully to overwhelm your body and mind.  If you think about it in terms of exercising you don’t just go out and run a marathon your first time exercising.  You start slow; running as long as you can and build up to that marathon level of running.  So in practicing your faith you have to start with small goals, small steps.  I’m going to start small by praying and reading a chapter of the bible every night before bed with Bill.  We need to start it up again and sharing our faith.  It will bring us closer to God and closer together which is what we need, really what every couple needs.  Good luck to everyone in their own personal battles.  Remember…Small Steps.

Exercising

I have been working out for the last month and a half.  Every day except for Sundays.  It has been so nice and I feel so much better.  I can tell that it’s worth it.  Now my weight isn’t going down but at least I can feel my muscles starting to tone up and eventually everything will fall into place.  That and I love, love, love food and have a hard time limiting myself. 

The bad thing is when I go out and actually jog on the street all I can think about are the people that drive by me.  My self-consciousness comes out of me and I think of all the things that they are probably thinking.  

“She definitely needs to do that.”

“Good for her.” 

“Really…she’s jogging.” 

“She looks funny.” 

“Definitely good that she’s working out.” 

Now, I know it’s all in my head and I shouldn’t be thinking of such things but it’s almost impossible.  I just need to get over it.  I’m so self-conscious while I’m jogging though.  It doesn’t bother me at all when I just walk around but add jogging, it does something to my head.  However, I’m glad that I doing it and continuing on track.

Here’s to continuing!!!!!!!

Working Out

Well I have been working out for the last month and 5 days.  Bill and I went on vacation last week and I worked out everyday that I needed too.  I either jogged/walked, hiked, or rode a bike (which hurt - the seat was not comfortable).  I'm so happy that I didn't let getting out of my routine stop what I'm trying to accomplish.  I'm feeling more healthy by the day.  I'm hoping in a few weeks I will be able to jog the 3 miles to do a 5k if I so choose.  Getting excited towards becoming a step healthier.

Can't wait for Hawaii!!!!!  Only 2 months away!!!!

Ramping Up

Well, we got back from vacation and our yard work has definitely begun.  I hurt in places that haven't hurt for such a long time but our yard is starting to look so good. 

Beginning

 

Week Two

 

Now

Bill had the brilliant idea that the dirt we dug up would be the base of the raised flower bed in the back yard.  That way we don't have to spend very much on top soil.  I'm happy that he even thought about it.  I definitely wasn't.  My mind didn't go to the "where do we put the dirt" part.  

More pictures will follow of course.  We have 7 weeks before Bill's fathers surprise party and that's the goal that we are hoping to reach for our yard to look presentable and nice.

Purpose

I want a purpose for my life.  I have always just wanted a purpose in my life.  Growing up I never knew what I wanted and never knew what I wanted to do.  When I married Bill my dreams slowly morphed into wanting a family.  That didn’t happen.  So slowly I lost my way.  I’ve lost it completely.  Every now and then I get close to finding my way back and then I get derailed again.  Apparently it’s not that hard to get derailed.  It’s so much easier to get sidetracked and drop back into old ways.  I know that for a fact.  I’ve been working out off and on since I was 18 and just this last month I have finally found a routine but I know that I have to keep up with thinking about it so that I continue it and not stop.  So for life I need to find a routine that works.  I need a purpose.  I don’t know what it needs to be though. 

It is so hard to think that the last 7 years of my life has been exactly the same.  I do mean exactly the same.  It is really, really, really, really starting to bother me.  I need to find a way to change up my life and find my purpose.

Finding the first step to finding my purpose would be only through…Prayer.  That’s where it starts.  However the waiting for the answer is so hard and usually so long but it is worth the wait.  It is something that I have to keep in mind at all times.  It is WORTH the WAIT and it will always be better then I could ever think of.

I found a quote that I love but unfortunately I forget it frequently.  It says “Disappointments are just God’s way of saying: “I’ve got something better”. Be patient, live life, and have faith.”  I love this quote and it brings my joy and peace whenever I read it.  I just need to write it down EVERYWHERE that way I don’t forget it.  

I NEED to start praying on a daily basis for myself.  PRAYER it's what it is all about.  GOD will help me find my way.  He's the only one that can.

The Healthier Life

So goals...yes the talk of goals.  Isn't it exciting.

My goal is to start loving myself and taking the time for me to work out.  

You would think that loving yourself is easy but I find that it is by far the hardest thing to do.  You would also think that taking the time to work out would be as easy as that sounds considering I just have a husband but it still takes a lot of time and effort to remind myself that I'm worth it, that it will be good for me, and that I will feel great afterwards.  

So Working out.  Yep.  On a regular basis.

  

I have a plan that I have been sticking with so far.  Now I'm still at the beginning stages - Two Weeks but I'm feeling good about this.   I am alternating a couch to 5k jog and a Jillian Michael's Strength workout (weights).  I also even worked out when I was down in LC staying in a hotel.  That is a big step for me to have actually done it.  I usually give up when my schedule changes but I'm so proud of myself.  It is now just the keeping up with it even when my schedule changes.

OK I CAN DO THIS!!!! 

Front Yard

I didn't do this.  I will say that.  Bill, my wonderfully awesome husband did.  He worked so hard today weeding the front flower bed by the street, mowing the lawn, fixing the bell tower at the church.  We had a talk and we have come to the conclusion that we need to get our priorities in row.  So we, both of us are going to start working more and more on the yard.  I'm glad that everything is slowly coming together and it's beginning to look like a real yard again.  One that people actually care about.  It's starting to make me happy to come home and have a nice yard to look at.  We still have a lot of work to do but one day at a time.

Australia

So Bill and I are going to go to Australia (hopefully) next year.  

Next year is a very momentous year for us.  

We are celebrating our 

10 year anniversary 

in January and I'm celebrating my

30 birthday

in April.

Now normally we would be going out of the country over my birthday but this next year my Aunt from Australia will be in Japan during my birthday so we postponed the hopeful trip to Australia to the beginning of June.  (It also gives us an extra 2 months to save.  Yay for that.)  So we are going to start living like the poor and save every penny we get in order to save for Australia.  I'm definitely excited about the thought of this trip!!! 

Lilac Tree

 This is my Lilac tree.  Before the maintenance. 

After the weeding.

Yes there are still piles.  I am a half at a time kind of weeder.  I weed and then eventually I get to actually cleaning up the weeds.  Yes there are still weeds sitting in the front flower bed to be scooped up.  I'm going to clean it all up tomorrow as long as it's not raining.  Anyway, the next step that we are going to do here is redo the rock work.  I'm going to straighten out the blocks and make it even.  I'm thinking about putting another row of blocks up but we will see what it looks like after I straighten them out.  I also want to plant some bulbs and get some color under it to spice things up.

More to come...

Yard Projects - Front Flower Bed

 BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

Surprisingly the one part of gardening that I love is pruning the fern every year.  I absolutely love doing it every year.  It's the one thing that I never gripe about it.  So far I have done this in the last week.  I'm proud of myself.  I still have to put the weeds in a wheel barrow and dump them behind the shop but I'm proud that I have at least done this much.  It's better then nothing.  I'm happy that this are getting done in the yard.  Bill is going to get top soil for the front flower beds so soon it will look really nice.  I can't wait.  I have a goal to get the yard in great shape by August.  So you know what I will be doing for the next 3 months.  It will be totally worth it though!!

The Yard Before The Work

So these are the pictures of our yard as it is right now.  

"The Before"

 Yes it is quite sad but as the spring and summer progresses it will start to turn beautiful.  

Well with that said I'm going to go out and start the weeding pulling.