Words are meaningless

Words are meaningless unless you have the actions to back it up.  I have felt like a failure for a very long time.  I’ve also felt like I was a hypocrite pretty much for the last few years.  Words I’m finding are hard to find the truth in.  They don’t really mean anything until you put them into action.  “Live your dreams.”  “Live your faith.”  How do you do that though?  It’s easy to think about and SAY but to truly live it takes your breath away sometimes.  It makes your heart and mind struggle against each other to find the correct way to do it.  It takes a lot out of you to find the best way possible to make it happen.  With all things you do though you have to find a starting out point.  You should start out small, not jumping in right away fully to overwhelm your body and mind.  If you think about it in terms of exercising you don’t just go out and run a marathon your first time exercising.  You start slow; running as long as you can and build up to that marathon level of running.  So in practicing your faith you have to start with small goals, small steps.  I’m going to start small by praying and reading a chapter of the bible every night before bed with Bill.  We need to start it up again and sharing our faith.  It will bring us closer to God and closer together which is what we need, really what every couple needs.  Good luck to everyone in their own personal battles.  Remember…Small Steps.

Exercising

I have been working out for the last month and a half.  Every day except for Sundays.  It has been so nice and I feel so much better.  I can tell that it’s worth it.  Now my weight isn’t going down but at least I can feel my muscles starting to tone up and eventually everything will fall into place.  That and I love, love, love food and have a hard time limiting myself. 

The bad thing is when I go out and actually jog on the street all I can think about are the people that drive by me.  My self-consciousness comes out of me and I think of all the things that they are probably thinking.  

“She definitely needs to do that.”

“Good for her.” 

“Really…she’s jogging.” 

“She looks funny.” 

“Definitely good that she’s working out.” 

Now, I know it’s all in my head and I shouldn’t be thinking of such things but it’s almost impossible.  I just need to get over it.  I’m so self-conscious while I’m jogging though.  It doesn’t bother me at all when I just walk around but add jogging, it does something to my head.  However, I’m glad that I doing it and continuing on track.

Here’s to continuing!!!!!!!