Beach Walk/Run 2010

So I'm coming up to 3 months away from the Beach Walk/Run 5k or 10k. I did it last year and I put in about a 14 minute mile for my 5k. I jogged the whole thing in heavy, heavy fog but at least I did it!! I was just ecstatic that I wasn't last!! I was second to last. However last in my Age/Group. I was 6th out of 6 in my age group. Sad but I figured it was coming.

Place Name Bib # Age Age/Group
Group Place

75

Nyssa Cardwell

153

20

6 F 20-29

45:47.0

This year I'm going for getting at least a 12 minute mile and hopefully not being second to last and I'll be shaving about 5 minutes off my time last year. We will see if it happens like I want it to.

But, my plan is to jog just a mile in April, 2 miles in May, and then bump it up to 3 miles in June and then do 3 miles for the last 2 months building my speed up. However last week on Thursday I did 1.5 miles so I may be bumping everything up earlier. I know I just want to get a good time and beat my old one that I have. Good luck to me.

Life as we knew it when we were 14.

So do you remember in school when you had to create a chart or drawing of your life 20 years from now. It's been circling in my head for the past few days thinking, wow my life is so not what I pictured myself having when I was a 7th grader or even when I was in high school. Of course I did the usual. Finish High School, go to some 4 year College, get a job being a pilot or police officer or going into the Army, after that getting married probably sometime in my late 20's followed by having kids, and then lastly retiring when I'm 65 from some job that I had gotten.

But you know that when you make those they are pretty much all the same with everyone. How when you are 13 going to know what your life is going to be doing in 10 or 20 years. It's pretty much a waste of time. Do you really think that someone is going to sit down and be like I'm going to do drugs, then spend some time in jail, get out on parole, murder someone, flee the country, and live in the ghetto of some foreign country to where I eat, drink, and sell drugs. Of course not. Everyone is going to do the prescribed thing in their mind, what is ingrained into them since they were 5 years old.

So you see my life did a detour when I graduated high school. I did one of the things in the proper so called order, I graduated from high school. Instead of going to some 4 year college to become what ever I was to become I went to a year long program at the coast to decide what to do with my life. It turned out to be the best year of my life and I will never regret it. It is where I found my wonderful husband of 5 years and 3 months.

After high school it is where my life swerved drastically off the path that I had made when I was in junior high or high school but to the good. I have had great experiences living at the coast, getting things ahead of most people my age. Buying a house on the coast when I was 20 and making it my own with my husband. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten my dream job that I want but then again I don't know what I want in life yet. Just a myriad of things that I wouldn't mind doing. One day I hope to find out what I really want to do and go after it. Which I have in my head the idea I just need to pursue it.

My Life Now

You ever think back on your life and remembering the speeches that you had to give. That was me today. I had flash backs while I was at work today. I had to go to a very granola-ie school and talk to the kids about learning how to save. It brought back to many iffy memories from high school. Since I had to stand in front of people(the kids) and talk flashes of how I used to give speeches flew to my memory and the girl that I used to be came to mind. Dorky hair (most likely up), t-shirt (probably had something to do with basketball), jeans, no make-up what so ever, stomach doing summer-salts, legging shaking back and forth, and hands shaking constantly trying to avoid the eyes of everyone in class. Aahhhh!! It's not an appealing thought. However, this time it wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

1. Much better style in hair. However it was still up but I had it styled and had a head band.
2. Wore a long sleeve green shirt and vest that was super cute.
3. Well I can't wear jeans to work so it was a nice pair of gray slacks.
4. Make-up!!! Green, Tan, and Gray eyeshadow with black eyeliner and mascara.
5. Stomach still doing summer-salts but not quite as bad.
6. There was no leg shaking and no hands shaking.

All in all a step up from 7 years ago. Time has changed and I want to say changed to the better. At least my fashion sense. The class was actually pretty good. The kids were great and together and fun for the exercise that we completed.

Since the school is here where I live is very, very much around hippies and built for hippies children it was a different experience all together. As I was talking about a the money tree we were going to create. I was asking the class how to keep a tree healthy. Of course the obvious answers came up, water, soil, light. Then once they finished their answers I gave one of my own from the workbook that I had. "You can also spray the tree to keep it nice." As those words exited my mouth it was a mental head smack to myself!!! Instantly they all chimed in saying that it was bad to spray trees. Not healthy. Immediately I countered saying, "Yes it is bad but some people do it." Hahaha. That would probably be me being the one doing the spraying so therefore I lied in front of everyone that it was bad. Mental head smack again!! Yikes!! It's probably good that I was only there for an hour and I will probably never go back. I would be such a hypocrite. What a day!! Hahaha, at least it gave me a good laugh!!

25th Birthday Party!!

Oh the food!!! There was a really nice spread we had going on!!

It was beautiful that day!!! It was a lot of fun to be outside in the middle of April and be warm!!

Look all the kids surrounding me!!! Imagine that!!!

Ah, Bill!! He was so good to me!! He smoked all the meat for the party!!

Me there the birthday girl!!! It was such a fun party!!!

Wheeler

Bill and I in Wheeler. It was such a beautiful view and sunset!! I wish that I had a nice camera, though. Well, saving here I go!!!

Life in the Fast Lane!!!!!!

Well life is life. It's constantly swarming around everyone. Linking everyone together. Making impressions with each person and thing around you. Bill and I have been completely busy for the last year with only a few weekends free to do nothing. The bad thing with this is that people tend to get left behind or neglected. Sorry if you have been neglected by our friendship together!! The other thing that happens is our house gets neglected. Poor house. It needs things done to it so badly. However, I'm cutting things out and Bill and I are taking an entire week this summer to do nothing but be at the house and do the chores to make our house a house again.

I'm completely excited though. This summer we are finally putting up a well needed fence!!! Aaaaahhhhhh!!!! I can hear the cries of my dogs permeating my head right now!!! Poor things having to be locked away in a fence all the time. Muuhahahahaha. I love it. We are also hoping that we can re-side the house at least on both ends. Things are looking pretty scary. We need to replace the two sides before next winter hits. Things aren't going to happen like they would have because of our mortgage going up but it will be fine and we will get through everything. The other up side to the fence is once it is done we will be able to buy flowers and plants for the front yard and they will stay and be beautiful!!! I will have pictures when everything is done so don't worry!!

You Are Every Where To Me

You ever have a feeling that you are being watched. Of course if you are a girl it comes very naturally to have that feeling but its not the stalker or creeper that I'm referring to. I'm referring to a higher authority, you know the one up in the sky. I have been going through some roughness lately but I think that I'm coming up through the other side. Through the fog to the sunshine. I constantly have the feeling that I'm being watched by God and I've been disappointing him. Well maybe not disappointment but something like that.

You can just hear Gods voice in your head when you aren't doing something that you are supposed to be doing or Gods voice saying "come back to me, share things with me. I can help you, I promise. Just unburden yourself to me. Lean on me." Lately for the past year I've been hearing those things but I was so angry at him that I just couldn't do it even though I truly wanted to. I'm beginning to think that there are things out there that are so much bigger then I am and why am I trying to hold onto things and telling God what I most truly want and that he needs to give it to me when he already knows and is just waiting for me to give up my vulcan death grip hold on it and just give it to him. I'm releasing it to him and just praying that something good and exciting will happen in my life. I have so many plans for my life right now and hoping that just some of them will come true but we will see what God has planned for me. That's the hardest thing for me is to know that things change (the things that I want most in life), plans change and quite frequently they change but always to the better. In high school I was planning on going to Mt. Hood Community College and instead he changed my mind and I went to Ecola and I found my perfect husband which is much better then anything that I could have ever hoped for. It became a much better thing for me.

I just always need to remember and keep in my heart that He is there, always will be there, and will never leave me in my times of need. This part of my life is the hardest that I've ever had to deal with and I will survive by the grace of God I will survive!!