Monday, February 9, 2009

Upset and Hurt

So I have a friend that is single. I don't have very many friends that are single anymore, that are in this area, and he is extremely upset about the fact. For awhile we all thought that he wanted help to find a wife or girlfriend whatever you want to call it. So my friend and I decided to try to help and start, not really shoving him at girls but just letting him know that some girls were single and that he should go and talk to them. Now he got tired, annoyed, and upset with us telling him about the girls and trying to set him up but he never told us that we were told that from his sister in law. Therefore we stopped telling him that he should do certain things or that he needed to talk to girls if he wanted a girlfriend. We dropped the whole subject.

So that was a couple of months. Recently I got my hair cut, yesterday, and the girl that cut my hair was also going to cut his later that day. When she was done with mine we called him up and told him to come over so that we could hang out with him and our friend doing the haircuts. He was upset that we kept telling him to come over to the house and eventually got his way because we were tired of arguing about it. He was very persistent. It was odd but whatever. Later my husband and I were at our churches snack and yak, when my husband leaned over to me and said that my friend and I needed to back off from him. Now at first I thought that it was because we were hounding him to come over to have his hair cut. My husband was like no, it's not that, it's that someone had asked him if he had met anyone exciting at the church that he went to that morning. Now that was when I got upset because I hadn't said anything to him. Now I wouldn't have so much of a problem if he told my husband that, I would still be upset of course, but no, it wasn't him it was his mother that told my husband. I found out from my husband that my friend had asked him it he had met anyone at the other church that he went to that day which she didn't do. This whole ordeal had me so upset and crying so much that I went to my friend and ask if she asked him if he met anyone. When I got her on the phone she said no that she hadn't seen him or talked to him recently besides when we all were about the haircut.

She is much better then me with the whole call the source and ask him what happened and confront the problem. Me I hate confrontation and I avoid it at all costs because I tend to cry to much. I do notes.

Therefore, she called him and they talked through things. I guess it was just a misunderstanding taken from his mother which she passed onto my husband which started the whole ordeal. Finally I slightly calmed down and wasn't upset with him anymore. Really it wasn't upset it was hurt well it was a little of both. I became really sad and hurt at his mther by her words and putting my husband into the middle of it.

Now I understand mothers to the point that they get hurt when they see there child hurt and if that child is young enough to say something to maybe the parent of the other child that hurt them but as soon as that child gets old enough to start working out his or her own problems they need to keep there mouth shut. I really like his mother but she is too protective. He is 26. If he has a problem with something that I have said to him or if I have hurt him somehow then he should tell me that not his mother. It is his responsibility. If the mom can't wait or can't control herself then she should actually tell me face to face instead of going through my husband!

I am very hurt to the point that I have to say something usually I can brush it off and slowly get over it by watching a movie or maybe a few movies but this has me all twisted around, hurt, and up at 1 in the morning that I am going to write her a note. Like I said it's easier for me to write a note and cry during that then to tell her face to face and cry. I don't like crying in front of people. To me it shows weakness. Crazy I know, I am!! I am sorry for those of you that actually read all of this. I'm venting, I know, but I just had to. I really like his mom so I don't want this bad air between us at all.

My husband has been good through this and let me cry on his shoulder and yell at him. Which I apologized to him and said that I wasn't yelling at him I was yelling to him about the situation. He felt awful of course because he is just in the middle of everything. He didn't want or have anything to do with it. Poor guy!

Anyway, I am done with my super long tale and vent if you read the whole thing then the ironic, good thing about waking up at 1 in the morning is that I worked out already for today. (Laughing).

1 comment:

Mama Griffith, said...

misunderstandings are no fun, but good friends live through them. I am praying for you today.