Ironic

It's ironic that when you are off Gods path and if you are having doubts about something. God is there in a sermon where ever you are and at whatever church you are going to, to tell you what you needed to hear most. God found me this last weekend at Danielle's church. It was really good the message that their pastor was giving that Sunday morning. It was all I could do not to cry in front of everyone. Avoid peoples eyes and just look down or ahead. Remember to blink. Was all I kept thinking about during the sermon to keep my eyes dry.

However that comes with a price because if you don't cry at that moment in time then you cry some other time at the most inconvenient time. Like tonight. Everything building up and it came rushing out of me while I was walking down evergreen to get to a friends house to make fun of Twilight before we watch the next one. Yes, walking!! I got out of my car before evergreen and walked from there to my friends house because I was so mad at Bill. I couldn't stand being in the car with him. From then on it has been fierce crying until pretty much now. I got home from dropping off the movie (I definitely wasn't going to be sitting around there to cry) and immediately went to my elliptical for 10-15 minutes and then to cleaning the kitchen and my stove. It was everything that I was worth to get the spots off my stove but by golly they came off. I like the way that I can now instead of going to the refrigerator go and doing something better for me. I don't wallow in the bad way anymore like I tended to do in High School and right out of high school I do something more organized and iconic, something with structure. So my house is very clean now hopefully it will remain that way for a long time. We'll see. I'm forcing myself to get more energy and not just laze around the house while something needs to be done.

I'm sure the ironical things of life will keep on coming. It will be interesting to see the way they come.