So I know that I'm just using this thing lately to just talk about my problems and vent and for the people that actually read it I'm sorry. I truly am but it's my only real venting system that truly makes me feel better. That and nothing exciting happens in my life on a regular basis.
So I use to have movie nights at my house every Sunday. That was fine and I got used to it but then something happened. I changed. Really I got amazingly depressed and I didn't want a lot of people at my house all the time. So I stopped having them and also another triggering affect for it was that someone said well you don't have kids so its the best place to have them. I have kids and I can't have the TV up loud because it would wake them up was her excuse for not having them at her house sometimes.
I can't tell you how much it bothered me but at the time I think that I was slightly disturbed but in the mind set of just pushing my feelings back(not a good thing to do). So now I'm even more in the mindset that I don't want to do them because of that one person that thinks that I'm the one that should always be putting them on because I'm the only one that doesn't have kids. She has made similar statements about being a parent and I'm not. So I'm in the mood that I really don't want to have girl nights anymore besides for the few friends that would actually come to spend time with me and not make me feel worse. I know that she is probably not doing it on purpose let alone she probably doesn't even know that she is hurting my feelings and that I should tell her but I don't want to have that conversation and confrontation about it. I've done that to much lately that I'm tired of crying and talking.
This last Saturday I got back from Utah at about 10:40pm. Sunday Bill and I slept in and that was great. We got up at 10ish and then I went to Fred Meyers and Costco to do some grocery shopping. By that evening I was even more drained. I haven't done anything besides paying bills and the laundry which is still unfolded in the laundry basket. I then get a call from her asking if I was going to have a girls night. I replied no. To that she asks well can you? I said no again. Maybe I'm just reading into this to much but really if you want a movie night that bad have it at your house and invite people there. I really don't care if you have kids or not it's the same thing no matter what if you want a movie night then have it at your house don't except that that one person is always going to have it every week. Besides it's funner to move it around from house to house that way not one person is doing it and having to keep there house clean at all hours of the day and week. I personally like not having to clean the house all the time.
I know that I'm venting but it has made me feel better. I'll let you know when the next movie night is going to be.
6 comments:
We could have a movie night at my house sometime except I'm horrible at planning and inviting so if you don't mind doing the legwork of inviting people to my house sometime...just check with me first : )
Sure. I can do that. I'm pretty busy on weekends for the next month so it probably wouldn't be for awhile. Probably November when my schedule slows down a bit and I will feel like it. I will ask before though.
Sorry I didn't mean to sound awful I hope that it didn't come across that way.
Sometimes you just need to vent, I understand.
ha, If I would have just read your blog!! more recently than just today. We need to have a real girls night where we go out to eat but first we have to redeam our utah trip and go out together and see a movie, you me bill greg and matt.
by the way the "ha" part was me laughing at my ignorance...Somtimes I am sooo thick headed.
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